Fraught Thoughts

These words were written to be used for a piece of music that I wrote called Last Thoughts (you can download it from here; I don’t think I will actually use them for their intended purpose. My writing style comes about in an almost ‘stream of consciousness’ manner, both for “journalistic” writing and poetic writing such as is below. These thoughts are as they came out of my head, unfiltered. Although it wasn’t a conscious decision at time of writing, I think the source for these thoughts is my awareness of mental illness. Various friends, family and people close to me have suffered from all kinds of mental illness and it is something close to my heart and head.

Originally, the piece of music I wrote these words for, used a (very copyrighted) Bob Dylan speech, “Last Thoughts on Woody Guthrie”. The audio recording I have is (I believe) from Guthrie’s wake, and is extremely moving, and in my opinion a magnificent piece of wordsmithery. The text can be found here but the speech should really be heard from Dylan’s own lips.

Some Thoughts

Twings and Twangs are simple sounds but in essence they’re pure,
I’m lost in thought as we wonder along a path,
Ringing echoes of muffled tones – Bob Dylan in my ear,
Distored sounds images and faces come out of nowhere to create something real,
Physical and gutteral – a feeling?

But these arent real, they dont exist, its a digital fortress to pilfer a title,
Girl I want you here and I want to be there with you, to steal my own line,
And now I am- a little,
A vital thing is that I have comprehension.

An evil face can be deceptive and often decieves,
With deceipt so far that our naievity is revealed,
On occasion so little comes into focus even though we look at the same blades
Of grass in the field and a swan on the lake.

I know there’s tangibility there and I know your nightmares aren’t really real,
They’re reflections of our dreams and reflections of sounds we might not even know,
But combined can swing to nothing or funky flare,
Pain not destroyed by pleasure,
Purity not derived from just an essence of some good feeling and,
Innocence not lost through being insightful.

Floated on the sea of a life in a new world thats lost in the ocean,
Just a pindrop in the Universe,
Pictued on my wall paintings of your soul,
Not a metaphor.

This is not a war or a battle of wits, but,
I’ll fight the fight with you,
Everything is more solid now and safe, we’re all safe
In some thoughts.

A suitably phsychedelic collage of shots taken from a car dashboard. Taken on a small apeture (f22~) with about 30 seconds shutter time. I love the effect of taking shots of motorways from a fixed point and wanted to look at the same kind of shot but from a moving vehicle. I’m trying to give the pictures (althogh still) their own essence or sense of movement. I am also going to look at using this type of material and giving it more life (enough that it could be used for my VJ projects) by some form of digital manipulation. At the moment these shots are as they were straight from the camera, apart from putting them in this collage.